It's another girl for the Hoffmans!

While I really wanted to keep the gender of this baby a secret, the change in our situation made me want to find out.  I was having a difficult time referring to the baby as "it" or  "the baby".  Then when the grandmas (both of them both said this at different times, mind you) "We need to know the gender so we know who we are praying for", it got me thinking. 

 

Because we thought we had a few more weeks to go, we still have a lot of preparation.  When I was admitted, one of the first things I did was ramble off a list of all the items we needed to clean and get unpacked for baby (of course, I didn't think about how long our NICU stay would be and my baby would probably not see a swing until February.)  Anyway, I realized how difficult it would be to plan, prepare and get set up now that I am stuck in the hospital.  If we were having a boy and we needed to buy some things, we probably should get moving.  Also, picking out the name was on that list, so now knowing the gender, we have been focusing on the naming process.  The final thought I had on finding out the gender was that I wasn't going to get that crazy celebration delivery I wanted. This being the last baby, I wanted to go out with a big bang.  I think this delivery will be a joy, but an anxious one to say the least and odds are the baby will be whisked away to NICU before I can hold him/her and I really didn't want to be the last one to find out if I had a boy or a girl.  The celebration will come once we know if baby is as healthy as can be, not about the gender.

 

Matt told me what the baby was while my mom was in the room and his mom was on speaker phone and then I got another ultrasound yesterday just to confirm it.  We are looking at another baby girl!  I am thrilled.  I felt I was having a girl from the moment we got pregnant.  Personally, my house is full of princesses and Barbies, so I was unsure of how I was going to squeeze in space for Tonka trucks and action figures.  Now, though, there are more practical reasons why I'm glad she is a girl and it just reaffirms my belief that God has everything planned out. The doctors and nurses here (when I was still in the dark about the gender) had mentioned that we should be hoping for a girl because girls do much better in the NICU- statistically preemie girls strengthen up, learn survival skills and learn to breathe on their own quicker than little boys do. My neighbor had triplets and her smallest girl (at 3lbs 8 oz) was the first one off oxygen and the first one released from the hospital.  This is, for me, a glimmer of hope.  Secondly, my unexpected maternity leave is going to hit us a bit harder financially than we had expected, so I am grateful we have plenty of clothes, pink paraphenalia, and no major redecorating to the nursery has to be done. We did register at BuyBuyBaby for some preemie items and health related items that were recommended to have. 

 I do want to say that I am feeling fine.  Baby's heart rate looks great and from the scans, she is growing right on track: kidneys and bladder producing urine, plenty of blood flow from the umbilical cord, etc.  We had to wait a bit to watch her practice using her lungs though, which was scary.  When I had my u/s, she must have been sleeping so she wasn't practicing with her lungs.  After some jostling, we were finally able to see her start moving them.  I am hoping my next scan on Monday shows some more growth in that area.  I won't be told how big she is for another week or so because they are worried about margin of error and don't want to freak out parents just in case a different tech gives us a different size. I will also not be checked for further dilation until my contractions start.

Crazy that this is me at 31 weeks.  Since losing my amniotic fluid, my belly has shrunk significantly.

 What is reassuring is that I am in a private hospital and feel totally at ease with the doctors and nurses here.  I love my group of doctors- great bedside manner and while they are optimistic, they are honest. The care so far has been superb.  My neighbor is a NICU nurse here as well, so that makes me feel better- I won't mind leaving the baby for a bit knowing that Irina is on shift and I'll be notified immediately if anything happens.  My neighbors have come up to visit, baked cookies, watched my kids and passed along preemie clothes.  I did have fun going through all the pink onesies again, but it was a bit overwhelming how small they are.

I am in awe of how small preemie clothes are.

As difficult as bed rest is (especially for someone like me who needs to stay busy constantly), not being around Makaela and Mia has been tough.  My mom and Matt are amazing and coordinating their care but it's been difficult.  I got to skype with them last night and Makaela got to ask the nurse what we were having.  When the nurse said a "girl" Makaela started screaming and running around the livingroom.  I'm so happy she is thrilled, but I wish I had be there to see it in person.

Matt is holding in there, but with the holidays, his command is undermanned.  He is being asked to take on more supervisory roles and work varying shifts to make up for the people who are going out on Christmas leave.  Not the best time to have a wife stuck in the hospital, a potential emergency delivery in the future, having to maintain a home and care for 2 kids. Again, so happy my mom is here to help, but this is taking its toll on Matt. Still though, we managed to have our Thursday TV date night here at the hospital and he slept next to me on the couch here in the room. The little things like that will keep us going and hopefully keep our sanity in check.  I'm hoping he can get out for the neighborhood poker game tonight so he can have some fun "guy" downtime (did I just write that?  Those words would never have come out of my mouth- me encouraging poker :-)

On a last note (yes, this is an epic post), we are looking at two names right now: Madison Hope (she will be called Madi though) or Emilia Hope (called Emi for short).  The middle name came from a friend of mine when I told her we needed a name that would get us through this ordeal.  Madison means "child of Matthew" and Emilia means "rival, excel or emulate".  We are still open and the discussion is still on though. 

Thanks for all the love, support and prayers you have been sending!  Keep them coming.