Mother's Day

My Mother's Day started out wonderful. Makaela had been telling me all week that I needed to stay in bed and not get out of it, which, sounds like heaven to me so I didn't complain.  She was all excited to make me breakfast in bed (I think the teachers at school were hinting that it was a good idea).  The girls served me fruit and OJ in bed and decorated the tray with their mother's day gift and flowers picked from the front of the house.  Makaela and Mia both gave me tiles with their handprints on them. I love them- I can't imagine how long it took their teachers to put these gifts all together. Makaela also gave me a list of mom questions that she answered and apparently my favorite place to go is Red Lobster (?); when the teacher asked what am I really good at, Makaela said teaching; when the teacher asked what my job was, Makaela reported "helps her students and she gots meetings all the time; when the teacher asked what I am not good at, Makaela reported she couldn't recall one thing that I did badly (that got her some brownie points); and one thing that I should do less of was "cooking and working"- the last one broke my heart because the biggest struggle for me since moving here has been my job and how many hours I now work.  I really don't get to spend the time I used to with the girls.  And now with three, I feel like each one gets less personal time.

Matt had planned a wonderful Mother's Day brunch for me too. We live down the block from a gorgeous hotel and it was having a special Mother's Day brunch.  We all dressed up and walked into the hotel and for a few moments, it reminded me of the days at Ko'olina- a beautiful hotel to enjoy without actually staying there.  We definitely enjoyed ourselves while waiting for the brunch to begin.

 The brunch was spectacular- top notch foods served in very fun presentations (I enjoyed my lump crap with mango salsa served in a martini glass).  Unfortunately, I had to excuse myself to feed Madi while the family ate.  While I was out on the terrace, I watched a bird gather up moss to build a nest and I thought, "how appropriate- watching this scene on mother's day. The bird is building a nest for its children". It made me realize how much we go through for our kids.

When I went in, Matt took Madi and instead of sitting down and relaxing, Mia needed to be ushered back and forth to the restroom (potty training).  Then Makaela wanted to go out to the playground, so needless to say, my brunch was anything but relaxing. I shoved some of this fancy food in my mouth and was in run mode. I, in my normal fashion, ended up having a pity party, but during this I realized a few things:

-Mother's Day is stressful- the pressure of having to relax is too much.  We should relax all the time because on days that we are supposed to relax, outside variables (i.e. kids, chores and life in general) won't allow it.
-Our emotions are inexplicably tied to our children.  When kids are happy, moms are happy. My kids were ansy by the time I got back to eat, so I couldn't be happy.  Once we got out to the playground and they were having fun, my own emotions got better.  Now, I just wish they could feel the same.

I have decided that I don't do well when holidays are focused on me.