Happy One Month Madi!

Madi has turned one month old and is starting to behave like a normal newborn does. She is experiencing more awake time and we see her tracking other people's movement.  It's so funny to watch her as she focuses on something because her little eyes become cross eyed (don't worry, the doctor told us this would happen).  She is also starting to keep us up at night (boo hoo) just like a normal newborn would- gone are the days of the sleepy preemie- this girl knows when she wants to eat and wants it pronto. She has started grunting and making some very funny noises; Matt calls her a little gremlin (lovely thought).   

At her one month check up, the doctor and lactation consultant couldn't be happier (she has become an office favorite and we are often visited by a different medical staff while we are there).  She now weighs 5 lbs 12 ounces (10th percentile), is measuring 19 inches long (31st percentile) and her head circumference is 34 cm (9th percentile). The lactation consultant gave us the go ahead to move her to actual breastfeeding during the nighttime to help us get a bit more sleep (the feeding and then pumping takes a while) so we are going in for another weight check next week.  

She is doing so well; we are overjoyed. She is such a chill baby and a great cuddler.

Photo Shoot

We had wanted to get Madi newborn pictures but with the exhorbant costs and my paranoid fear of her being exposed to germs in a studio (plus the doctor's strict warning about taking her out of the house for the first three months), we attempted to do newborn pictures ourselves and let's just say photographers, we are not.  It probably would have helped if I actually read the directions for our camera and learned how to use it too, but oh well.  Madi wanted to stay awake during the entire time, which made getting those sleeping baby pictures virtually impossible. We did get one sleeping pose of of her, but I was not about to strip her down and wake her up again, so there were few wardrobe changes.  Here are some of the shots we took that didn't make it into her announcement.

The girls look a little nervous to be holding their sister.  We had to get them to loosen up.

Finally a yawn

Our sweet dreams shot

Madi a "Greybie"?

While I was in the hospital, the nurses were constantly saying how busy they were and how many babies were being born daily.  In fact, I wasn't even staying in the labor and delivery wing because there was no room.  Me and five other ladies (those being watched for preterm delivery) were housed in another wing.  Luckily, when Madi entered the NICU, for many days she was one of two residents, but the labor and delivery unit was still bustling.

Anyway,I was flipping through a magazine last night and came across an article titled "I'm Having Christian Grey's baby!" and the subtitle was "Forget the water. There's something in the pages of E.L. James's series that caused this winter's baby boom. From teh OB to the mom-to-be, we meet the "Greybies".  I thought to myself, "How silly", but later in the article, I saw a quote "Fifty Shades sales peaked this past May. Fast forward 40 weeks and ...hello baby".  It dawned on me... I had started reading the series at the end of last school year...May to be exact and we then found out we were pregnant in June...ummmm.  I wonder if Madi is a "Greybie"?
http://www.parenting.com/blogs/project-pregnancy/melanie-parentingcom/fifty-shades-grey?cid=searchresult

First week home

Our first week home with Madi has been quiet. The girls are back in preschool which allows me to have some bonding time with Madi, but as a preemie, she sleeps a lot.  Basically I am busy pumping, washing bottles and doing laundry.  We still weren't prepared to welcome a baby just yet, so I have been trying to find some of our infant gear (still can't find my hooter hider or maya wrap though :-(  The NICU has pretty much trained Madi to eat every 3 hours and sleep in between, so everything has been pretty regimented. We are just trying to get used to nighttime feedings and matt and I have been taking shifts.  Madi has been experiencing some choking and that leads to her stopping her breathing. A few times her lips went blue and I went nuts.  I swear I age 5 years everytime she does that, but she has gotten better with each day.  On Jan 9th, we took her to the pediatrician and she was 4 lbs 5 oz and on Jan 16th she weighed in at 4 lbs 13 oz, so we are doing well with her weight gain.  She has amazing neck control and head movement for her size as well.  The doctor and lactation consultant were very pleased with her health and development with the exception of Madi having thrush, but the doctor said we caught it very early so it shouldn't be a problem.

Matt was off for most of the first week home but has to start working nights on Friday.  It was a bit difficult to handle all three on my own and I have just realized that some nights we will sacrifice bath time or we will combine story time and if I have to put on a movie to occupy the older ones while I feed Madi, so be it.  I can't get myself too stressed.  By the weekend though, my mom arrived.  She has purchased a condo here, so the remainder of the week while matt was on nights, she has come over to help with dinner prep, Madi feedings and bath time.  The girls are loving the attention from Grandma and I am so grateful for the extra set of hands.

First bath at home

 

 

 My neighbors have been bringing dinner (which is such a help because the meals are so large, they last a few days) and everyone has sent gifts and cards.  My brother and his girlfriend Cate sent a newborn outfit, but I imagine it will be a few weeks before she grows into it :-)

 

The girls just love Madi.  Makaela wakes up in the morning to hold her when Mia isn't awake yet (Mia gets too jealous and we are not ready to let Mia hold her just yet).  The other morning Makaela held her and "babysat" her while I got dressed, cleaned up, prepped breakfast and installed a car seat.  She was such a big helper. 

My little babysitter

A picture Makaela took.  Napping is key right now :-)

Heading home

Madi was discharged on Monday, January 7th.  We still had to go through a 90 minute car seat test (the babies have to sit in the car seats for 90 minutes without having a Brady (heart rate drop) or disruptions in their breathing), so I still wasn't sure if I was leaving with Madi or not.  After the first 20 minutes of watching her in the car seat, I knew I had to leave.  I was watching the monitors like a hawk and over analyzing every blip on them.  I went to lunch...this might seem cold hearted, but I was a nervous wreck and seeing that I had no fingernails left to speak of, I thought I would go downstairs and eat something else :-)  When I returned, I was told she passed.  My nugget was ready to go home! 

I then had to sit through her final blood test and her RSV shot.  I really pushed for her to get this shot because we had 6 outbreaks of RSV, a highly contagious virus that can be fatal to infants.  In fact, as I write this, my friend in NY has her two twin boys (born at 35 weeks gestational age) in the PICU on respirators because they caught RSV.  With Makaela and Mia in daycare, they are at greater risk for catching it which puts Madi at risk. Add me being a teacher to the mix and Madi's risk goes up even further.  Problem is, insurance companies only pay for it if the baby is younger than 32 weeks g.a. because the shot is $1750 a round and there are three shots in the series.  Madi's original doctor said we didn't need it, we just needed to be diligent, but the NICU nurse helped me persuade the discharging doctor to sign off on the shot and he did. 


Matt fed her one more meal to get her all drowsy for the car ride and then we changed her into her "going home" outfit. I had to drive home by myself (once again, a total nervous wreck not being able to watch her every move), but we managed. Due to the time, Matt had to pick up the other girls. The girls were so excited to see her, but we couldn't let them get too close because the doctor has warned us about exposing her to germs. People have to change into clean clothes and wash up before going near her, so we now have clean PJs in the laundry room for the girls to change into before going near their sister.

Last meal in the NICU

Getting nice and drowsy for the car ride home

Daddy trying to wake her up to get her changed

Going home outfit

Big booboo from her RSV shot on her thigh

Saying good bye to all the wonderful nurses!

 

Getting ready for the next chapter of our lives: bringing Madi home

NICU update

Madi has been doing well.  Earlier this week her sodium levels were elevated so the had a water drip going constantly but her levels came back to normal, so they stopped that.  I couldn't stand it because it was keeping water in her belly so when it came time to eat, she was too tired or not motivated to eat, so her milk was put into the tube as well.  This set us back in the feeding progress. Today she finished two full bottles on her own and while I was celebrating that, I found out the doctor upped her intake another 4 mls, so they are really trying to push her drink more (which will probably mean more tube feeding).  Today I nursed her, but because we didn't know how much she actually got, we gave her a 30 ml bottle. I got her to take 15 mls but then she gave up.  The nurse put the other 15 in her tube, but within 5 mins, she threw up twice.  As much as I love nursing, I think I may refrain because the nurse thought we overfed her. They really need to measure exactly what her intake is because she has been 4 lbs 3 oz for a majority of the week.  Even though she isn't gaining, the good thing is she isn't losing any weight, so we are happy about that.  A few days ago the doctor thought her billirubin was increasing, but luckily, it came down again.  At this point, we are still unsure of when she will be released.  The nurses just love her though.  She has already had two art projects come home- most involve hand and feet prints.  There are only 2 babies in the NICU right now so she is getting a lot of attention and I think the nurses are coming up with projects to keep themselves from getting too bored.  I think they play dress up with her too because for a little baby, she has quite a bit of laundry everyday :-)

Daddy and Madi (3 days old 12/30)



Look how small she is compared to Matt's hand

She already has Daddy wrapped around her fingers.

Four days old 12/31- very tired from all the water

Six days old 1/3- here is her thoughtful pose

Her "enough pictures Mom" pose

Hiding her face from Daddy

She decided sleep was more important than smiling for this picture.  Matt can get her to smile though, but I haven't been able to capture it on camera. Of course it's just reflex, but cute nonetheless.

 It's been a very interesting experience visiting a baby in the NICU. There are so many emotions we go through daily, it's difficult to put them into the exact words but I believe there is a lot of ambivalence in play. On one hand, I am so grateful she is being cared for so well, but I am envious that someone else gets to feed her and bath her daily. The nurses are really accommodating and let me participate in whatever activity I am there for, but still, I don't get to do it 24/7 and even when I am there, I'm a bit nervous. There is guilt as well- I am not there for her. I am only up there 2-3 hours a day (if that with my cold), but we have been trying to have at least two visiting times where she is held, fed or cuddled by a family member. Of course, I have two other children so being up there for hours on end is not feasible, but there is guilt regardless. And when we do get to visit her, it's great, but shortlived. There is anxiety- I'm anxious to get her home, but at the same time, I'm a bit anxious about her coming home...can I handle a preemie? Finally there is this guarded optimism. She is doing well, but we really can't trust it because she is still not at the point where we can take her home and she may experience set back so we are emotionally prepping ourselves for that (just in case).  All I know is, I am waiting for the moment when she is big enough, healthy enough and home.

Left the hospital just to get sick

No sooner did I get home, did I come down with a cold. I had felt a little tickle in my throat and asked my doctor for an antibiotic, but I have gotten progressively worse.  I guess this cold just needs to run its course because I did not respond to the antibiotic at all. And while I have no fever, I have the chills, the cold sweats, the constant coughing and basically I feel like my head is made up entirely of snot (lovely thought huh?)  The biggest problem with being sick is that it keeps me out of the NICU.  Because the babies' immune systems are so fragile, if you are sick, you can't get in.  Totally understandable, but I wish I could wish away this cold.  Because I didn't have a fever and my neighbor works there, I was allowed in.  The first full day I was home, I went up at nightime (the nurses are a bit more lax) and just sat across the room from her staring. My stay was limited to one hour because I didn't want to press my luck.  The next day I went up with Matt but let him do all the cuddling.  By the following day, my cold was full blown so I stayed away completely and by the next day, my cold still wasn't any better and I was overly emotional about not being able to see her.  Matt told Irina (our neighbor) what was going on and the nurses told me to come in and wear a mask, so last night I ventured up at 8pm, mask and all, and as soon as I picked her up, my nose unstuffed, my coughing was nonexistent and I felt like a million dollars.  I got to give her a sponge bath (she hates it but loves to have her hair washed...what girl doesn't?), I got to nurse her for the first time (she's a little chomper and latched on right away) and then got to snuggle her as she fell asleep.  As soon as I put her back in her bed, my coughing started up again and I knew it was time to leave.  I guess I just needed some Madi-medicine.

New Years

Our New Years was pretty low key. Matt's parents were in town so they headed up to the hospital to spend time with Madi (Matt and I had gone earlier that day) and we headed down to the cul-de-sac for a neighborhood get together. A few of our neighbors looked very confused when they saw me. One neighbor told me I didn't even look pregnant and it was kind of funny when I told her I wasn't. We had a few chuckles at that and The kids played, adults gabbed and I even snagged a beer in the midst of my running home to pump sessions. The evening ended in us sitting outside around a fire pit watching the fireworks and roasting marshmellows. I didn't make it until 12 (I took Makaela home at 10:30 and decided I was too tired) but Matt came home right before midnight so we could watch the ball drop together.


Never thought I would need a snow jacket and scarf in FL

Neighbors Tish and Ryan

Toasting marshmellows

The girls staying up way past their bedtimes.